‘There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.’
― John Lennon
The ground is quite safe.
.. when people start to appear as creatures who open their mouths to make noises. It frightens me.
If I go outside I try to focus on the ground instead. It’s the only way to pretend it isn’t happening.
‘Hey, Anna. Are you excited about New Year?’
‘No, Hiroshi. My mother told me that every day is the start of something new – it just depends where you put your beginnings and endings.’
‘That’s so dull!’
‘Well, it depends.. It feels wonderful for me. I like the slow and reliable continuation of things. Time travels in different ways for everyone.’
‘Oh. So you don’t want to celebrate then?’
‘I’m sure I will celebrate New Year when I feel like getting round to it. It may just be a little bit later than most other people.’
‘You have a funny brain!’
‘I know- huh! Different is good. It makes me laugh sometimes.’
I am carving out my own little niche in the world and it is really quite cosy. Sometimes I peer out, but usually I stay and sit quietly within- like a letter tucked inside an envelope. I can forget that this is a place I have made all myself; from backbone, grit, ache and belief. I know I must keep on carving my hollow, both in times of bewilderment and times of assurance. The further I go, the more I feel rooted.
I am becoming more of myself each day:
Not old. Not new. Just the deep of a furrow, I have hewn.