I’m tired of living with this sense of terrible and nameless dread. It completely consumes me and makes me feel paralysed with fear. The world seems hostile, and I can’t connect with anything or anyone. It stops me from feeling properly human. I don’t know what to do with myself, who I am or what anything is. I want to engage with life and live fully. I want to be free of this, but I have no idea how. It’s hard to believe things can be different when nothing I do seems to work. The days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, and still I am plagued by this strange and sinister fear that I cannot make sense of. I won’t give up, but inside I’m scared.

Dread dread dread

It’s always in my head

Be careful not to take away the ‘r’

‘Cause then you’re left with dead

Hard Times

I fell on Hard Times

and Hard Times looked at me

and said:

‘Do you mind not falling

quite so hard if you please?

Why don’t you try

giving Tough Break a go?

He’s stronger than me

and this much I know,

I’m afraid all these falls

are hurting my back

and I really don’t have

what it is that you lack.

If only I could stand

then I might get the chance

to walk a little, do a little

on my own poor behalf.

So please, oh please

don’t go falling on me:

get up and go out

and set us both free!’