I am having to let go of some of my most deeply ingrained meaning structures: the thoughts and beliefs that have formed my sense of self, as well as the basis of how I understand and interpret the world and my place within it. Now I feel lost, adrift, bereft. I have no sense of who I am. I feel displaced. Even in my own home. I walk the streets like a lost spirit. I grasp at pieces of hope and connection, but they never enough to replace my emptiness and confusion. I want to be anchored. I want to find a sense of purpose and belonging. We all need to be anchored in something, for that it what enables us to bear the storms of the sea and the turbulence of the waves. Right now I am being swept away by the current, unable to gain a foothold, trying desperately to keep my head above the water.