The Science of Madness

I’m not sure that anyone knows a single true thing. Everything that I once thought was great, original or profound has lost its lustre. My own internal voice does not even feel like it belongs to me. I am aware of it from the outside as well as creating it from the inside. Sometimes I feel like I am merely a representation rather than a human being. I don’t know what is an illusion and what is real. Perhaps life is one massive deception. I seem to be constantly tugging at knots. Philosophy must be the science of madness. It never provides any answers- only endless speculation.

Feeling Strange

Today I was feeling strange, but this is itself is not unusual. I spend so much of my life feeling peculiar that I hardly know what normal is anymore. The trouble is that although I know I don’t feel right, I can’t put my finger on precisely what is wrong.

It’s like when one bad note on the piano makes the whole tune sound offbeat, but you just can’t work out which one it is. Suddenly, the pleasant background music becomes discordant and ill-sounding. In fact, for the first time you begin to notice that the music’s even there at all. From that moment forth nothing makes quite the same sense it did before. You’ve suddenly got music where there was no music- and it ain’t sounding nice either.

I know this sounds very odd, but it’s tricky to describe.. All I know for sure is that I’ve been feeling strange, but I can’t seem to find the note to put everything right.