I often feel as though I am trapped in the jaws of a hungry animal, from which there is no escape. The trouble is that I am both the hunted creature and the beast that traps it. The fear is palpable, terrifying, all-consuming. The desire to not feel, for the jaws to close round and crush me, for it to finally all be over, is so strong that it takes everything within me to hold on to each second that passes. People say things change, but I live to go through this day after day. I’ve been playing on repeat for years- in fact, ever since I broke the ranks of childhood and became fully aware of myself my life has been a series of endless torments. I am lost inside a wave and can’t break the surface. This is what I am living for; to gasp for air only to drown again. It is unbearable. Are some people too sensitive for life? How long can I keep on doing this?

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