Foreword: This poem is in response to a moment between me and my dad. I was in bed, unable to move, feeling physically crippled and crying from black depression from head to foot. My dad was sitting at the other end, talking about the practical and positive steps he wanted to take in order to help me get better. This made me cry harder. I asked him to stop trying to fix me, and instead to let me go – to give me permission to leave. I wanted him to accept that I had lived enough; too much. At this point he pulled me into the tightest hug, in a moment that seemed to last, in its own way, forever, and said, ‘I can never ever give up on you’.

I wanted to capture that feeling – the bond – between parent and child that nothing can break. Not even eternal distance or time.

 

Hold on, my child

so that you may say

I have lived. Even if 

it is only by a filament

hold on, please 

you must, for me

just for one more day

so that once again 

you may say

I have lived. And when

the time comes  

when you have lived

enough

and you begin to cry

for you have lived 

too much; please

don’t loosen

your grip. Hold on 

to me, my child, 

once more, with all

the strength 

that you can give 

so I may hear you say

again, forever:

I have lived.